Let Me Go
by Yazzy
Summary: R for rape, although nothing too graphic. Rei rapes Kai, but afterwards doesn't remember. Both Kai and Rei are taken to hospital, where Rei ends up fighting for his freedom and his sanity. Yaoi, KaiRei.


...I can't believe I wrote this... I told Peachmelba I was going to write a fic where Rei rapes Kai just for a change and she said it would never happen...so to be chewy I kept writing it, and I ended up with this... I'm shocked at myself.

Basically, Rei goes psycho and rapes Kai. However, when they find Kai, Rei doesn't remember doing anything. They take them both into hospital, and...okay, I'll stop spoiling the plot now! Read and enjoy, I promise there's a happy ending!

Italics are for flashbacks

* * *

Kai woke up, feeling someone shaking him. "Kai! Kai, oh my God, Kai! Wake up! Kai, are you okay!" Kai rolled over and groaned. He hurt...his backside felt like it was on fire...but...

_Clawed hands dug into his shoulders, forcing him face down onto the bed._

His eyes fluttered open, coming to rest on Tyson's face. He blinked. "What-?" His tongue felt unable to form words...

_A scream, his scream, as someone thrust into him roughly, tearing him as they went._

"How-?" He looked around, saw blood staining the sheets. He felt suddenly dizzy and fell backwards, mind reeling.

"Kai, what happened!" That voice...

_"Kai, I love you."_

_"Stop! No! Stop it! Why-!" Kai struggled, but the voice held him down, digging its nails in as it rammed into him over and over again. He felt blood trickling across his legs and started to cry. "Stop it...please...please, stop!"_

"Voice...who..." He found that he was shaking, then looked up again. His eyes locked with Rei's, and he gasped.

_"Kai?" Rei had crept around the door. Kai had grunted, almost asleep. A heavy weight settled itself on his back. "Kai...you're mine..." And then Rei had dragged off his boxers...and..._

_"Rei! What the fuck are you doing? Get off m-" A harsh blow to his head sent him collapsing back to the bed, dizzy._

_"I'm going to take you Kai..."_

Kai's eyes dilated with fear and he huddled into his bloody sheets, making incoherent sounds of fear. The others all drew closer and Kai panicked. He could see Rei leaning over him...Rei had done this...Rei had hurt him...Rei had... He felt his mouth go dry at the harsh realisation of the reality of the situation. Rei had raped him...

"You...why did you..." Reason left him and he grabbed Rei by the hair, hitting him in the face as hard as he could. Rei cried out in pain and staggered away, clutching his nose. Tyson grabbed the fist that Kai still held in the air. "Kai, hey, Kai, come on! It's not like Rei did anything to you! Now lets get you cleaned up...phone Mr. Dickenson, or the police or something-"

"You don't need to...he did it..."

"Kai...why are you saying something like that!" Rei asked, tears in his eyes. Kai shivered at the sound of his voice.

"Because you...you raped me...you...ugh..." Rei stared at him for a while, hurt, then he clapped a hand to his mouth.

"If-if I did it Kai...w-what colour were my eyes?"

"What? Rei, don't-" Tyson began. Rei overrode him, looking terrified, blood from his nose dripping down his face.

"What colour...w-what colour were my eyes?"

_Kai felt his head wrenched back, looked up into blazing eyes, blazing-_

"Yellow...all...yellow..."

Rei dropped to his knees, stomach heaving. He shook once and was sick, on his hands and knees. Max went to touch his shoulder and he moved away, shaking. "I'm sorry, Kai...I-I-I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." He got to his feet and wobbled slightly. The others watched him, not quite knowing what to think. "I...I'm sorry...I can't...I can't remember...Kai...did I hurt you?"

"You r-raped me!"

"No, Kai you don't understand! I-it's not...I didn't...n-neko!" He managed to stutter out. He fell to his knees, absolutely horrified.

"Rei, are you saying -you- did this to Kai?"

Rei grabbed Tyson by the shoulders and pulled him down to his eyes level, eyes wide and staringly mad. "Tyson, it-it-it's happened! I..." Rei flattened himself on the floor, crawling forwards towards Kai's bed. "This was...th-they said it could...I n-never believed...but...seppuku...only way..." He clawed himself up using Tyson's shoulders and ran. His eyes glowed yellow as he leapt for the window, slipping through it like a snake and jumping away over the rooftops.

Kai took a shuddering breath and started to cry, pulling the covers over his head. The others watched him for a second, then Tyson took charge. "Max, go and call Mr. Dickenson. Kenny, you stay with Kai. I'm going to find Rei!"

* * *

Rei was sitting on the roof, rocking himself to and fro, sobbing. Tyson teetered over and sat down beside him. "Rei-"

"I'm sorry...but..." Rei looked up, his eyes sparkling with tears. "S-Sometimes...m-m-m-" He shook his head, unable to carry on, then took a deep breath. "M-my cat side takes over...it's n-n-never happened before...b-but-" He stopped short, and fell over to lean against Tyson, wailing. "I c-can't control it...it'll just...just..." He shuddered.

"But how could you do something like that to Kai?"

"You d-don't understand! I d-didn't! It w-wasn't me!" Tyson was silent for a while, then:

"What's seppuku?"

"S-Suicide...if I d-don't want to keep hurting people...I...I'd have to..."

"What!" Rei was about to reply when a limo pulled up and Mr. Dickenson got out followed by two men with guns. Rei whimpered and struggled away from Tyson, crawling back across the roof. "N-No!" He stuttered.

"Rei..." Tyson reached out to him but he shook his head, still backing away.

"Rei? Rei my boy? Are you up here?" Mr Dickenson appeared, squeezing out of a large window. One of the security men followed him and Rei cowered, covering his head. "S-Seppuku...not like this...by myself..."

"Rei? Come now Rei, come down, we'll talk about all this, okay?" Asked Mr. Dickenson kindly.

"P-Please don't shoot me!" Rei begged. Mr. Dickenson waved the security man away.

"He's gone, Rei. Now come on, come down." Said Tyson gently, coaxingly. Rei looked up and then stood up, walking over to Mr. Dickenson tentatively. They slid back in through the window, Tyson, then Rei, then Mr Dickenson. Rei took one look at the still-bloody bedsheets and felt his stomach heave, turning to escape back out of the window. "Now Rei-"

"Move! Get out of my way!" Hissed Rei, eyes glowing yellow. He crouched, then went to attack Mr. Dickenson. His hand, nails outstretched, headed for Mr. Dickenson's face, but Tyson grabbed him, tackling him to the floor. Rei went suddenly limp, and Tyson turned him over. He was lying unconscious, breathing gently.

"Just like that?" Asked Mr. Dickenson wonderingly. Tyson shook Rei roughly, but the neko-jin only rolled over, snoring slightly. Max walked in, shaking his head. "Kai's going crazy. He just keeps laughing and muttering in Russian...should we...should we phone an ambulance?"

"There's already one on its way..."

"What are we going to do with Rei?" Asked Tyson, letting go of Rei and standing up. As if in answer, Rei groaned and opened his eyes. He looked around, puzzled to find himself on the floor, then gasped. "I...I didn't...did I-?" He scrambled up and backed away. "I'm sorry...whatever I did I'm sorry..." He kept backing away until he reached the wall and flattened himself against it.

"Now Rei, come on. I know you're scared, but we have to sort all this out."

* * *

"Rei?" Tyson knocked on the plastic over Rei's door. The room had been specially outfitted to contain him- shatterproof plastic barred the window and the door, and anything he could possibly have used to hurt himself with had been removed. He was lying on his bed, face buried in the pillow, and Tyson could hear him wailing loudly. "Rei?"

"Go away...leave me alone..." Tyson wiggled his fingers through the slit in the plastic.

"Rei...aw, c'mon, don't ignore me...we know it's not your fault..." Rei sat up, eyes red with crying.

"Go away!"

"Rei..." Rei's eyes flooded yellow and he leapt over, teeth bared, heading for Tyson's fingers. Tyson snatched them away just in time and Rei's teeth clattered on the plastic. He snarled and tried to force his way through the miniscule hole, serving only to scrape his nose in the process. With a yowl he stalked away, back to his bed, falling over onto it with a small sigh.

Max appeared behind Tyson, shaking his head. "He just can't control himself...it's killing him..."

"I know, but what can we do?" The bluenette sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "How's Kai?"

"He...he can't speak. Well, he can speak, but...he just talks in Russian. They said somehow his mind's been affected, and he can't talk in other languages any more."

It was two days after Kai and Rei had been brought into the hospital, and even now no-one was exactly sure of the implications of what had happened. All they knew was that Kai was on the brink of insanity and Rei was losing control of himself more and more, although that might have been something to do with the constant fear he was subjected to by being locked up in that tiny space alone. As they watched he struggled up suddenly, turned, and burst into tears. He came to the slit and reached out of it. "I'm sorry...I'm s-sorry..." He cried. Tyson took hold of his hand and squeezed it. Max sniffed and tried to keep his tears in, then walked away quickly.

"It's okay." Rei collapsed to his knees, dragging his hand back down the plastic and curling up on the floor, body shaking with sobs.

"I want to die! That's the only way to stop this! I can't live like this! I can't-can't..."

"Rei...it's okay...you can get help, or something..."

"No I can't! You don't understand!" Rei sat back up, kneeling, looking up at Tyson desperately. "I'm never going to be able to control it! It's part of me...I..." He choked, clawing at the floor. "Can you go? I don't...I don't want to be seen like this..."

"Okay...but...I'll come back later, okay?" He walked away, turning back for one last look at Rei lying prone on the floor and then carrying on up the corridor.

* * *

"Kai? I know you understand me, even if you can't talk back to me..." Kai nodded, and Max sighed. "Are you okay?" Kai said something and Max looked to Tala for a translation. "He says, 'No. What about Rei? Do they know why he...' and then he trailed off."

"His instincts take him over when he starts to feel strongly about something. That's all we know." More muttering. Tala frowned, then replied, sounding incredulous. Kai growled something back, and Tala sighed. "He says he wants to see Rei. I told him that it's a bad idea, but he wants to see him..."

"Well...we'd have to ask the doctors..."

* * *

Rei looked up disbelievingly. "K-Kai!" He ran from the window, vaulting over the bed and coming to the door. "K-Kai...I-I'm sorry...I didn't...oh Kai...Kai I'm sorry..." He reached out desperately but Kai backed away. "Kai, it wasn't me! -I- wasn't me! It's the cat inside me Kai!" Kai watched him, face not betraying any kind of emotion. "Kai, please believe me! I didn't mean to hurt you! I love you!" Kai came a step closer, eyebrows raised enquiringly. "Kai, I love you! But...cats don't feel the same way humans do! Cats don't love...they lust...I...Kai...Kai I'm so sorry...I can't believe I did something like that...Kai..."

Kai reached out, the tips of his fingers almost touching Rei's. He said something in Russian and Rei shook his head. "I don't understand...Kai..." Kai reached up with his free hand, pointed at himself and then made a zipping motion across his mouth, repeating what he'd said before. "You...can only speak...in Russian?" Kai nodded. "Oh Kai...I'm sorry..." Kai shook his head. He took a step back, looking away down the corridor. "Tala!" He called, beckoning.

Tala appeared, eyeing Rei warily. Kai said something quickly, then gestured at Rei. "He says if it's not your fault you shouldn't be sorry."

"Kai...it's...it's...part of me...just because I don't control it...I feel as if it -is- my fault..." Kai hesitated, then reached out and took Rei's hand. Rei gasped and looked down at it, then up into Kai's face. Kai smiled slightly and squeezed his hand. He was not prepared for the reaction that he provoked. Rei's eyes went yellow and he grasped Kai's wrist, yanking it through the slit. He licked his lips hungrily, and Kai wrenched himself away, backing away and then stumbling, falling against the wall.

Rei clawed at the plastic, teeth bared. "Kai...come here..." Kai felt his stomach heave and scrambled to his feet, running away as fast as he could. Denied, Rei slammed his fists against the plastic. As they connected, he started to fall, in the tell-tale unconsciousness that followed his fits of strange behaviour. Tala stood for a second, watching him, then followed Kai.

* * *

Kai came back resolutely the next day, and Rei wept on his knees before him. "Kai...Kai...I...I can't...Kai...I want to die! Surely you understand? No-one else does...I don't want to hurt people...you know me...I would never...I wouldn't even contemplate...it...it's driving me mad, Kai...I'm begging you...please...let me die..."

"Niet." Rei looked up, hearing the one word of Russian he understood.

"N-No? B-but...Kai...I can't...please!" He shuffled back and moved his upper body forwards, bowing, lowering his head. "I...I'm begging...please..."

"Niet..." Kai tapped on the plastic sharply and Rei looked up. Kai said something Rei didn't understand, looking down at Rei sadly. Rei stood, leaning against the plastic. "Kai...I need to die..." Kai shook his head, and Rei shook his in return, sending his hair flying around him. They'd taken away his headband...they probably thought he'd strangle himself with it... "Why! Why won't you help me! Why won't anyone? None of you understand!"

"I don't..." Kai's voice croaked. "...I don't...want...you to die..." Rei was too desperate, too frustrated, to notice that Kai was actually speaking to him. He flung himself against the plastic, hissing. "I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS ANY MORE!" He screamed. He sank to his knees, curling his fingers in his hair and tugging harshly. "I'M GOING MAD! CAN'T YOU ALL UNDERSTAND!"

"Rei...no..."

"LET ME GO! ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, LET ME GO!"

"No...Rei...calm down...it's okay...I forgive you..."

"AAAAGH!" Rei stood, turned, and looked around for something, anything to end this with. When he could see nothing, he simply fell, hitting the floor face first, shaking uncontrollably.

"REI!" Kai reached into the room helplessly, but Rei ignored him, muttering to himself, clenching and unclenching his fists. "Someone help!" He yelled. "There's something wrong with Rei!" Tyson, Tala, and two doctors came running. Rei jumped to his feet, glaring.

"Let me out of here! Kill me or let me out! I can't stay in here! It's small...so small..." He looked around, shuddered, then ran behind the screen where his toilet and sink were. They could hear him being sick, and heard him sobbing desperately.

"Rei!" Yelled Kai. There was no reply. Kai reached for the lock on the door, fingers scrabbling with it. A doctor grabbed his hand and pulled it away. "You can't go in there! He's dangerous!"

Behind the screen Rei listened to this exchange. The words echoed in his head- 'dangerous, dangerous, dangerous'. He stepped out from behind the screen. "D-Dangerous...dangerous..." He fell to his knees, suddenly devoid of the will to live. His hands rested on the floor, his legs were curled beneath him, and as the others watched he scraped the nails of one hand up the opposite arm with a look of sick satisfaction on his face. Sharp lines of red welled up, trickling down Rei's arm. He raised his arm and licked the blood off it, then looked up sharply. With horror, the others saw the yellow of his eyes.

He prowled over to the slit and hissed through it. "Let me out! Let me out now!"

"Rei, we can't-"

"SHUT UP YOU FAT IDIOT!" Rei hollered, smashing his fist against the plastic. He bared his teeth, spitting blood. Everyone outside recoiled at the sight of him, bleeding, raging, insane. "IF NO-ONE WILL HELP ME I'LL -STARVE- MYSELF TO DEATH!" He spat, before collapsing and sliding down the plastic with a sickening squeaking sound.

* * *

However, after that, Rei was as good as his word. Whenever food was brought to him, he simply looked at it disgustedly and left it where it was put, sometimes even pushed it back through the slit or flushed it down the toilet. When he wasn't refusing his food he sat on his bed, legs crossed and eyes closed, ignoring whoever spoke to him, apart from Kai.

"Rei?" Rei cracked open one eye and smiled tiredly. Kai could see that he was getting thinner, and it worried him desperately. "Rei...if you don't eat soon they're going to force-feed you. You know that don't you?"

"They can try." Was Rei's enigmatic response.

"Rei...you'll die."

"Good."

"I don't want you to!"

"Well I don't want to live. You've all locked me in here, you've refused to kill me or let me out, and now I'm going to make myself die, whether you like it or not. I can't live with myself, Kai...knowing that I raped you, that I've tried to attack people. I can't do it."

"Rei...no-one blames you..." Rei snarled suddenly.

"I don't care who blames me and who doesn't! -I- blame me! It's not even because of that!"

"Why is it then?"

"Because of how it feels to lose control and then not even fully remember...to know that your hands hurt someone, and you weren't even in control of it...it's disgusting."

"Rei...come here..."

"I can't. I don't have the energy. Besides, if I touch you I'll only go psycho again."

"You said you loved me. How can you do this to yourself if you love me?"

"Because I'm selfish." Rei closed his eyes and flopped down on the bed. Kai could see his ribs even through his clothes.

"Rei...please..."

"How many times have I pleaded? How many times have I asked you...begged you...to let me die? And have you helped me? No. If you had, maybe I wouldn't be sitting here feeling myself get weaker every second... Ask yourself why, Kai. Why wouldn't you help me?"

"Because...I'm selfish too."

"Exactly."

"Exactly what! Rei, there has to be another way!"

"You still don't understand..." A tear trickled from beneath Rei's eyelid.

"Kai? Rei?" Rei turned away, showing his protruding spine to Tyson and Kai. "So...he still won't eat?" Kai shook his head, an idea forming in his mind.

* * *

A tiny clicking noise echoed into the darkness and Kai pushed open the door of Rei's prison. "Rei?" He whispered. Rei rolled over with an effort. "Rei...I can't stand to see you like this..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sealed needle. "It's poison Rei...it could kill you in a minute or so..."

"Kai...do you mean-?"

"Do you really want to die?" Kai's lip quivered. Rei nodded, reaching out desperately. "Sit up."

"I can't...oh Kai...Kai...thank you..." Kai sat down next to him, tears filling his eyes and then spilling over. Silently he opened the plastic and took out the needle. It glittered, reflecting the light from the moon outside the window. "I love you too, Rei." He held the needle beside Rei's arm and then pressed it down. Rei gave a small moan as it entered his flesh, spurting its contents deep into his veins. "It'll head towards your brain and kill off the signals. Rei...I love you. Do you still love me?"

"Of course I love you Kai...I'm sorry...but I can't stay like this...I can't keep losing control..."

"I know." Kai hesitated for a second then laid himself over Rei. He felt Rei twitch and his heart stopped. He'd forgotten...touching Rei would set him off...and...

He felt himself being thrown off and forced face down into the pillow. His breath started to come in desperate, jerky gasps. It was happening again...all over again...but it wasn't Rei...not really...but...but... His trousers were yanked down and burning flesh rubbed against his own. He felt Rei rise slightly, then-

Rei collapsed onto him and he had to bite the pillow to stop himself from screaming. He rolled to one side to shake Rei off, and then to the other, pulling his trousers back up. Rei was lying limply with his mouth open. He looked as if he were sleeping, but...

Kai pulled him close and stroked his hair. It was done. Rei was... Kai buried his face in Rei's hair, sobbing bitterly. "Sleep well Rei...I love you..." He turned Rei's face towards him and kissed Rei's unresponsive lips gently. "I love you..."

* * *

Max found them like that in the morning. "Kai!" He ran in and shook Kai frantically. Kai grunted and tightened his grip on Rei, who moaned softly and opened his eyes. "Am I dead?" He asked, puzzled. Max gaped at him. "Max? Are you okay?" He looked down at Kai and then touched his cheek gently. He gasped and looked down at his hand in amazement. "I...I touched him...and I didn't... Kai! Kai, wake up!"

"Stop dreaming...just a dream...you killed him...he's dead..." Muttered Kai. He felt a sharp pain on his arm and opened his eyes. Rei laughed and pinched his cheek as well. "You're not dreaming, Kai! I'm alive!" Max gasped and then ran.

"But...how-?" Rei kissed Kai joyfully.

"Brainwaves! It must have killed the cat! Kai, I-" He paused, then ran his fingers over his teeth. "My teeth are still the same...my ears are still the same..."

"But you're Rei...not Rei with an evil cat inside him..."

Rei let himself go limp in Kai's arms. "...I'm hungry." Kai was about to reply when Tyson appeared with Max and Kenny, in time to see Kai stand up, cradling Rei in his arms. Rei laughed weakly and wrapped his arms around Kai's neck. "Rei! You're okay!" Yelled Tyson excitedly.

"I'm not okay, I'm starving!" Rei yelped as Tyson and Max jumped at him, grabbing him in twin bearhugs. "Ow! Hey, stop it!" Rei pulled away, nursing the scratches up his arm. He sniffed, then his knees buckled beneath him and he fell, only to be caught by Kai. "I meant it when I said I was starving..."

Tyson produced a bar of chocolate from his pocket and held it out. Rei grabbed it without hesitation and ripped it open, stuffing it into his mouth in one go and swallowing almost instantly. He licked his lips and smiled. "I'm still hungry..." Kai lifted him up, slinging him over his shoulder, and started out of the room with him, with Max and Tyson following like an honour guard. They reached the reception and Kai dug all the change out of his pockets, practically buying out the vending machine there. Rei spent the next few minutes stuffing his face with chocolate and crisps, washing it down with lemonade and orange juice.

When he'd finished, he snuggled himself up in Kai's lap. "Thank you for saving me Kai...I love you..."

"Love you too." Said Kai quietly as Rei drifted off to sleep. He looked up at Tyson and Max with a small smile. "Tyson, go and tell the doctors. Max, go and phone Mr. Dickenson." He folded his arms around Rei, holding him close, then kicked the wrappers off the seats around them and lay down with Rei on top of him, head pillowed against Kai's chest.

Before very long the reception turned into a whirling frenzy of doctors and security guards, all orbiting around Rei and Kai. Rei snored peacefully as all around him people pestered and squawked and flapped, all of them deflected by Kai's surly glare and sharp tongue. Everything became much calmer, however, when Mr. Dickenson appeared. "Kai? Is Rei okay?"

"I think so." Rei sniffed and opened his eyes.

"Think so?" He asked scoffingly.

"Know so." Replied Kai, hugging him tightly. Mr. Dickenson smiled down at them then began the task of chivvying everyone away and organising a car to take all of the Bladebreakers back to Tyson's house.

* * *

"Kai?"

"Yes, Rei?"

Rei looked up at Kai and smiled, nuzzling into him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I really really love you."

"I really really love you too." Kai smiled down at Rei, stroking a hand through his hair and then across his chest. "I love you so much, Rei...I'm glad you aren't dead..."

"So am I...but I couldn't keep losing control of myself like that..." Rei reached out and prodded Kai in the stomach. "I couldn't touch you." He prodded Kai again and Kai grabbed his hand, twisting him around and sitting up, tickling Rei mercilessly. Rei squealed and giggled, writhing in Kai's arms.

Tyson walked in and then straight back out again, and they both laughed, pulling each other to the floor and lying there, twined together and holding each other tightly. "Don't ever let me go, Kai."

"I don't intend to..." Kai said slyly. "But if I'm not allowed to let you go, does that mean you have to come in the shower with me?" Rei blinked in mock shock.

"Of course!"

Kai smirked. "I hope Tyson left some hot water...or you're getting a cold shower, koibito!" He lifted Rei up and headed for the bathroom...

fin

* * *

R&R please! 


End file.
